#2 Inter-Species Marriage (And a brief paragraph on Pa)

Hey howdy hey, everyone!
Well, for those of you who saw in the comment of the last post (meaning the first post... It's weird that that's actually the same thing... Although, I guess now this is the last post. Seeing as how now that you're able to read it, this is technically the lastest post up... Wow. I'm good at boggling my mind... But now this is a major interuption to my sentence... I'm going to start it over so you don't get confused. Because I know how much energy it takes to go back up and read what I started to say before this paranthesis madness!) Well, for those of you who saw in the comment of the last (first) post, Pa made this big spiel about how I didn't "menchen" (Yes. He spelled it like that. My wife flipped out a little.) him. So, now I have to talk about him... *sigh*

Alright, he's 11 months and 21 days younger than ma. He's a percussionist and really likes violent video games. (Me? I prefer Pokemon. There, the worst thing that could happen to a person is "whiting out" and being sent to the Pokemon center. Of course, I can't play [I have no fingers or apposable thumbs to speak of], so I really mean that I just watch Ma play Pokemon... Don't judge me...) Pa likes what AA accurately refers to as "Emo-Screamo" music. Again, I don't share his preferences. You wouldn't believe we're related. Except for that Ma says the two of us look alike. Ha. Pa wishes.

Anyway, now that I got dad out of the way, I'm going to discuss a very important issue. Inter-spieces marriage. Along with Afganistan, abortion, and fedral funding, inter-speices marriage has been, and still is, one of the most heated topics debated between Republicans and Democrats. And I know I may lose some of my Republican readers after I say this, but I think it should be legalized.

Ok. Most of you probably weren't surprised (I mean, I am married to a human), but let me tell you a story to try and persuade you away from any predjudice you might have.

I once had a friend... (Who shall remain NAMELESS... But, let's just call him Billy-Bob) Billy-Bob was a human married to a human (A classic error among your breed... But I'll get to that later...). Now, early on, they, of course, realized the other had faults. But, they learned to over-look them. Or, at least that's most most of you think you do. What you really do is bottle every little grievence up until it finally explodes and every little thing about that person makes your skin crawl. But, Billy-Bob and his wife (Let's call her Betty-Bill), lasted longer than was normal. You see, Billy-Bob had a dog that he talked to about these things. (What helped Betty-Bill, you ask? Well, I'm sure you're all aware of a woman's higher natural level of patience they are forced to develop to deal with us feeble men... She called on that other-worldly power.) Anyway, on a day when they both were feeling rather crabby with each other, Billy-Bob realized he had more in common with his dog than his wife. Slowly, he started falling in love with her. Betty-Bill didn't know this, though, when she asked him to file for a divorce (Because even women's powers run out eventually). One week after that, Billy-Bob proposed to that dog (After all, what man doesn't want to marry his best friend?). It's now years later (twice as long as the relationship of Billy-Bob and Betty-Bill), and they are still not married. Because, for some unjustful reason, it's still illegal wherever they live. And I think that's wrong.

You see, not only is it unconstitutional to ban who you're allowed to want to spend the rest of your life with, but it's just impractical to make that restriction. You see, chances are, all of you would be much happier with an animal. You want to know the reason? You're not afraid to talk to us. You don't bottle things up around us. You need us for a healthy relationship.

But, maybe I should give the other side's argument... Most refer back to a little story called Adam and Eve. You all know the basic premise, I'm sure. And in the way you heard, I bet they said that God made them to mate with each other. But let me clue you in on a little secret. The whole place was filled with animals! God did this to give them choices! And, when Eve realized this, she accidentily picked the only bad animal on the island, that darned serpent. And that has ruined it for you humans ever since. You think we're all as evil as that. Now, of course, women were held as inferior for a thousand-some years because of this same story. But how long will it take for us animals to be forgiven for the mistake of one? I mean, give us a chance, people!!!

Now. I'm not saying all of you have to go out and date a cat (Although, for some, it might be in your best interest), but you shouldn't stop others from pursuing the ones they love. And remember, just because you support animal lovers rights doesn't neccassarily make you, yourself an animal lover. Imagine if you couldn't be with the person you love for some insignificant difference, and you'll understand how we feel. Think about that.

If you agree with my views, then spread the word! Show your support for inter-species marriages! Make buttons! Make T-shirts! Just talk to your friends about it! Anything you can do! Because, you know, us animals, quite literally, can't speak for ourselves...

With that thought, I will conclude my post. Some may have remembered that I promised I would post weekly. Now, some of you may have also noticed that a week has not passed since the last (first) one. That's just because it's so much fun for me to actually communicate with people! (Cause I can't physically talk. I only type with my hooves.) And I hope it's as much fun for the rest of you to hear from me. (Of course, it's not hearing. It's seeing. But I put hearing because I'm sure a lot of you actually see me quite often. So, if I put it down accurately, it wouldn't be nearly as interesting... Wow... I'm officially the king of long parenthesis talk... I'm sorry...) So, until next time!

Signing off,
Yours Truly,
Baconbits