Post #1: the Basics

Hello every friend foe or weirdo who would want to read up on the perspective of me, a pig-bag (And I say weirdo in the most endearing of fashions). First off, you should know that I will most likely add a new post weekly. You know, unless something marvelous happens that I simply can't possibly wait to post. This could be a great many things including piglet births, marriage (ANY marriage... But You'll hear more on my stand for inter-species marriage later...), or something along those lines. Of course, it could be something not as great as the things mentioned before. Namely, a butcher moving accross the street...

ANYWAY. The first two people I'll probably mention most are Ma and my wife (No offense, Pa). My mother's name is Katherine. She's a die hard Muppet's fan (And when I say that, please don't think about Bruce Willis shouting unmentionable things at the Muppets... I just did and it;s very dis-heartening...). And she's constantly carrying me around places with her. I assume it's out of love, although I keep getting the sneaking suspicion she's just using me as a purse... My wife is named Ruthie. Both Ruthie and Ma are interested in Theatre, but for different reasons. Ma wants to be an Actress/writer, while Ruthie would like to share her passion for everything she's learned through drama teaching... *sigh* It's a wonderful wife... (Some younger viewers might not understand my word play. My advice to you. WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE? HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE?!? ... Sorry... I really shouldn't yell... I probably just scared some people off over a Christmas movie...)

Next is a long series of aunts/uncles. I'll list each and give a mini-bio on them.

Ruthie: Surprised? She's actually ma's sister. But, we love each other. And after a talk with Ma (A LONG talk...), she finally gave her consent :) What this means is the family tree gets a little messy from here on out... (You see, now my aunts and Ma are also my sisters-in-law. And my uncles and Pa are also my brothers-in-law. And, likewise, my grandparents become mothers/fathers-in-law and my siblings are, legally, my nieces... Don't try to think about it too much... It put me in a daze that lasted a week.)

Christina: She's a sister on my mother's side. She acts just like Ma does and actually had my Great-Aunt as an English teacher. She's one of the few people that actually enjoys one of Ma's spine-crushing hugs (Me, having no spine, don't really mind the hugs either... But I think that makes for a total of two on this planet that can stand them...)

Quentin: Another actor (You'll find my family is full of them...). Brother of Ma. He likes anime/manga. I personally, never really got into it, but a large portion of my family is. (For those of you who aren't even sure how to pronounce Anime or Manga, it's not as fancy/weird as it seems. Manga is just Japanese comic strips and Anime is just the Manga put to cartoon... I think...)

Allison: Sister of Ma, She is a wonderful artist that will be an architect (Ok, I feel terrible, but everytime I hear that word I can't help but think of George Costanza...). Aunt Allison has many nicknames from Ma. It's kinda hard to keep track of them all, but I think the list is something like... Alluminum, Fire Rat, Taurus, Bunny, and, my personal favorite, Piglet. So, I may refer to her with any or all of those names to see if you get confused. Something else I should probably mention, she's a tad abusive toward me (If a tad means horribly and maliciously, then yes. Just a tad.)

Frank: Brother of Ma's. He used to be a gymnastics star (at 7) But, nowadays, he tap dances and does Ballet at Linda Kelso's Dance Studio. He has long flowing locks of angel hair, something I'm quite envious of. Because, of course, being a pig, I'm bald. Uncle Frank is a big fan of Star Wars and ninja weapons.

Kelsie: Last of ma's siblings (I know you were dying for this Ma's side madness to end, well, friends, we're almost there!) Aunt Kelsie's the oldest. She likes theatre, but from a mainly back-stage stand-point. Don't get me wrong, she likes to act as much as any of her siblings (Minus Piglet), but she's primarily interested in Stage-Management.

Anna: The only sister of Pa's. (Crazy, right? Did anyone keep track of how many siblings Ma had? I'm sure the difference is insane...) Aunt Anna (Or AA as I sometimes call her) is a flutist. Is that the word? I don't really know. But all I meant is that she plays the flute. She also speaks German, which is pretty cool. I hate to brag, but I actually speak three languages. English, pig-latin, and Swinese.



Me and my little sis, Henrietta



Also, I have two siblings. Izzy is the oldest of them at 14. She's the only one of us that's human. But, it's ok. We love her anyway.

 Henrietta is the youngest and she's a little baby still... She's so cute! I'll have to show you guys pictures sometime! (Which would be now, I guess... Since I just added her picture on this post...)



So, for those of you who are still reading and didn't get bored, I LOVE YOU! And I realize this was kind of a dumb post if you aren't one of the people mentioned, but this is information that I prmise will be very important. I mean, if I didn't post this, and I said something like "I went on a trip with Piglet and AA", you would all probably have an image of me strolling along with a Winnie-The-Pooh character and a battery. Now you all would recognize it as a pleasant stroll with my aunts. Well, as pleasant as it can get with someone as abusive as aunt Allison... Anyway, I promise my next post will be more interesting! Please come back next week! Please!

Signing off,

Yours Truly,

Baconbits