Hello, everyone!
Sorry it's been so long... I know I promised weekly posts, but somehow I didn't get around to it...
Anyway. I have a lot to talk about now!
First off, last Friday a very interesting thing happened...
As you may or may not know, my mom was in this show called "I Just Wanna Tell Somebody" at her school. And you also might or might not know that this show was coupled, in the performance, with "Dr. Moreau". Now, in "Dr. Moreau", there are numerous beast people. One of these was a Kangaroo who had a pouch in which the actress had originally intended to place a small stuffed Joey (baby kangaroo). Unfortunately, she forgot to bring it.
"I can't believe I left it at home!" The actress (Named Hannah) lamented. Meanwhile, my mother is sitting in the corner cuddling with me, as she tends to do when she gets tired. At this moment, Hannah turns to look at her and notices me in her arms. Her face lit up like she had a thought-bubble with a light bulb in it. Talk about your "Aha!" moments...
So with this turn of events, I was abruptly thrust into the wonderous world of the theatre my mother was so fond of.
Oh, and the exhileration was incredible! Oh course, I was terribly confused... I'd never rehearsed and I had no clue what was going on... But I think that might have added to the thrill!
Anyway, I was a hit! Everyone loved me! And I loved everyone!
Well... Everyone loved me except the one person who I really needed to... (the director)... She had me cut from the show immediately...
And so, as soon as I was brought into it, the world of the theatre chewed me up and spit me out. But, hey. That's show biz.
I'll certainly never regret going on that stage, but, at the same time, the sting of rejection might keep me away from it for good...
And now. On to the really sad news...
Ma and Pa broke up...
"WHAT?!?" I inquired of Ma, "YOU AND DAD ARE GETTING A DIVORCE?!?"
She sighed and said with the slightest hint of frustration in her voice "We were never married, Baconbits..."
Another shock.
"And also, while we're on the subject," She continued lightly "He's not your real father."
My jaw hit the floor (Well, it would have if my mouth weren't sewn together...) She rolled her eyes.
"Don't be so surprised... You're nothing like him..." She scolded softly.
I couldn't argue. This was true. But it's still not something anybody likes to hear...
So... Not a great week so far...
Oh! Another thing! I am going to make a semi-formal request right here, right now to anyone who knows me in real life.
I simply HATE it when you humans try to use me to get to mom! You know what I mean... The "Tell me, or I'll burn the pig" or "If you don't, I'll eat the pig" or the occasional "Mmmmm... Pork Chops..." that you all give my mom!
Ok, so I know you do it because it's effective (Ma is incredibly and sweetly protective of me...), but COME ON! THINK LOGICALLY! Why should I have to pay for whatever mom's done or hasn't done to you?!? It's not fair!!!
So, now I'm semi-formally requesting you all STOP IT so I won't LOSE MY MIND!!!
... Thank you...
Signing off,
Yours Truly,
Baconbits
Aw poor Baconbits.
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